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In your twin flame journey, you may experience this commonly talked about dynamic known as the “Runner and Chaser” stage.
This is when one person in the twin flame relationship runs away while the other chases after them, desperately trying to keep the connection alive. It can be an extremely painful and confusing experience, but it is essential for healing and growing.
In this article, I will delve into the complexities of this dynamic and help you navigate this challenging stage. But first, let’s understand the differences between the twin flame runner and chaser and their roles in this dynamic.
What is a Twin Flame Runner and Why Do They Run?
The twin flame runner is often described as the person who runs away from the intense connection and feelings in a twin flame relationship. They can be triggered by fear, past trauma, or even their ego, causing them to push away their twin flame and seek distance.
For example, they may be hurt by a previous relationship and fear getting hurt again, causing them to push their twin flame away. The runner tends to be more logical and analytical, placing less emphasis on emotional connection. As a result, they might require some time to effectively process their emotions.
The runner may also be afraid of the spiritual growth that comes with the connection. They may not be ready for this level of change in their lives, causing them to flee instead.
In some cases, the runner may not even be aware that they are running. They may subconsciously distance themselves from their twin flame to protect themselves from vulnerability or commitment. They may focus on their career or even start a new relationship, only to realize that they are still deeply connected to their twin flame. However, they may feel guilty or undeserving of this unconditional love and continue to run.
Whatever the reason may be, the twin flame runner is struggling with their own inner turmoil and needs time to work through it alone.
What is a Twin Flame Chaser and Why Do They Chase?
The twin flame chaser is usually the one who desperately tries to reconnect with their twin flame after a separation. After the runner takes off, they are often left heartbroken, confused, and wondering why their twin flame is running away from the intense connection they share.
The chaser tends to be more emotionally driven and deeply connected to their intuition. They can feel when something is off with their twin flame and will do anything to reconnect with them. They may try to reach out, communicate, or even physically chase after their runner.
The chaser wants nothing more than to reunite with their twin flame and continue to grow together. However, this desperate pursuit can often push the runner even further away. For example, a twin flame chaser may be constantly bombarding the runner with messages, trying to force them into a conversation, or showing up at their doorstep unannounced.
Chasers often struggle with feelings of rejection and abandonment as the runner continuously flees from the connection. They may also feel helpless and frustrated because they cannot seem to control their emotions or the outcome of their relationship. Even though they might recognize that their runner is not ready for a deeper connection, they cannot help themselves. The intense pull towards their twin flame is too strong to ignore.
Understanding the Twin Flame Runner and Chaser Dynamic
The twin flame runner and chaser dynamic is a term used to describe the push and pull nature of a twin flame relationship. It refers to one partner’s tendency to withdraw while the other pursues.
Runner often needs time and space to process their emotions, fears, and past traumas before they are ready to fully commit to the relationship. So when faced with an intense connection with their twin flame, runners may feel overwhelmed and need to take a step back to protect themselves. They usually have an avoidant attachment style and struggle with intimacy, making it challenging for them to fully embrace the twin flame connection.
On the other hand, chasers have an anxious attachment style and crave deep emotional connections. When their runner pulls away, it triggers their abandonment fears. They experience intense feelings of anxiety about losing their twin flame which causes them to pursue even more intensely. This can lead to clinginess, codependency, obsession, and other unhealthy behaviors as they desperately try to keep their twin flame from leaving.
However, when the chaser pursues too intensely, it can trigger the runner’s fears and push them further away. This creates a cycle of chasing and running that can be exhausting and painful for both partners.
Read this article to learn how twin flame triggers each other.
What Happens When the Twin Flame Dynamic Switches?
It is not uncommon for the runner and chaser to switch roles at some point in the twin flame journey. This can happen when the chaser becomes exhausted from pursuing and decides to pull back. They may block the runner from social media, stop reaching out, and even start dating others as a way to detach from the intense connection. The chaser may also feel like they are the only one putting effort into the relationship, leading to feelings of resentment towards the runner.
This sudden shift can trigger the runner’s fears of abandonment and make them realize that they do not want to lose their twin flame. The runner finally recognizes and accepts their feelings for their twin flame and starts pursuing their twin flame more actively. However, the twin flame chaser may reject the runner’s advances because they feel hurt and betrayed by the runner’s previous behaviors. As a result, the previous runner becomes the chaser while the previous chaser becomes the runner.
This switching of roles can happen multiple times in the twin flame journey, leading to a turbulent relationship full of intense emotions and conflicting desires. It is important for both the runner and chaser to recognize when they are playing these roles and take steps to break the cycle. It is only when both partners learn to balance their energies and heal their wounds that they can come together in a healthy, harmonious union.
How to Break the Runner-Chaser Cycle
Breaking the runner-chaser dynamic requires inner work from both partners. The runner needs to face their fears of intimacy, vulnerability, and commitment while the chaser needs to work on their codependency, need for validation, and fear of abandonment.
Here are some steps that can help in breaking the runner-chaser cycle based on the role that you play.
Chaser: What to Do When Your Twin Flame Runs?
First of all, if your twin flame is running away from you, let them run! The biggest mistake that the chaser can make is to go after the runner, trying to convince them to come back. This only pushes the runner further away and reinforces their fears.
Instead, focus on yourself and your healing journey. Feel your anxiety and helplessness completely and process these emotions. Don’t run away from these feelings and run toward your twin flame whenever you feel discomfort. This will help you to release these emotions and become more self-aware.
Also, work on releasing any codependent tendencies and learn to love and value yourself independently of your twin flame. This will help you to break free from the intense emotional attachment to your twin flame, which is often the driving force behind your desire to chase them. Remember, the twin flame journey is not about finding your other half, but rather becoming whole on your own. Take care of yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Meditate, do yoga, journal, or whatever helps you to connect with yourself.
Lastly, surrender to the universe and trust in divine timing. Let go of trying to control the outcome of the relationship. You may not understand why your twin flame is running, but separation is often necessary for both partners to grow and come back together in a healthy, balanced union. Trust that everything will unfold as it should and focus on your own growth and healing.
Runner: What to Do When You Feel the Urge to Run?
As a runner, it is important to acknowledge your feelings and fears. Instead of running away from them, try to sit with them and understand where they are coming from. Often, runners have deep-seated fears of intimacy and vulnerability, which may stem from childhood trauma or past relationships. It’s important to address these issues and work on healing them through therapy, self-reflection, or other means.
Additionally, communicate with your twin flame about your feelings and fears. It can be difficult to open up and be vulnerable, but remember that your twin flame is on this journey with you and is there to support you. By sharing your vulnerabilities and fears, you may find that your twin flame has similar struggles or can offer comfort and reassurance.
Furthermore, it’s important for runners to focus on their own personal growth and healing. This may involve working on self-love, setting boundaries, and learning healthy communication skills. As you grow individually, the dynamic between you and your twin flame will also evolve, making it easier to come back together in a harmonious union.
Twin Flame Runner and Chaser Q&A
1. Who is the runner and chaser in a twin flame relationship?
The runner in a twin flame relationship tends to be the Divine Masculine (DM), while the chaser is usually the Divine Feminine (DF). Divine Masculine is characterized by independence, logic, and action-oriented behavior. On the other hand, Divine Feminine embodies qualities like empathy, intuition, and emotional depth.
2. Will my twin flame ever stop running?
Your twin flame will stop running when they are ready to face their fears and listen to their hearts. It is impossible to say for certain whether your twin flame will stop running, as everyone’s journey is unique.
However, when you are asking this question, it is a clear sign that you still have more inner work to do as a chaser. This is because you are still focusing on your twin flame’s actions instead of your own growth and healing. It is important to remember that you cannot control your twin flame’s actions or journey. The more you focus on the runner, the longer it is likely to take for them to stop running.
Instead, focus on your own growth and healing, and trust that your twin flame will come back when the time is right.
3. How long does the runner dynamic last?
The twin flame runner dynamic can last for as short or as long as necessary for both individuals to learn their lessons and reach a place of inner balance and harmony. This can take months, years, or even decades. The key is to focus on your own personal growth and healing, rather than trying to control or hurry the process.
Remember that time is an illusion when it comes to twin flames. Even if you are physically apart for a period of time, your souls are always connected and working towards union.
4. Why do I push my twin flame away?
If you are a runner and you find yourself pushing your twin flame away, it is likely due to fear. This could be fear of vulnerability, fear of rejection, or fear of losing your sense of self. Oftentimes, the runner will use detachment as a coping mechanism to avoid facing these fears and the intensity of the twin flame connection.
You may also be afraid of your twin flame as they mirror parts of yourself that you have been avoiding or suppressing. It can be uncomfortable and overwhelming to face these shadow aspects of yourself, which is why you may feel the need to run.
As a runner, you may think that you are not ready for such an intense connection and settle for a more comfortable, less challenging relationship. However, in the long run, this will not bring true fulfillment and may lead to regret for not embracing the twin flame connection.
Remember that running from your twin flame is essentially running from yourself and your own growth. It is important to acknowledge and address these fears in order to move forward in the twin flame journey.
5. What does the twin flame runner feel? Does the runner miss the chaser?
The twin flame runner may feel a range of emotions, including fear, confusion, and discomfort. For example, they may feel a strong pull towards their chaser, but resist it due to their fears. Alternatively, they may be confused by the intensity and depth of the connection and may try to rationalize it or push it away.
The runner may also feel a sense of guilt for hurting their chaser by running. They may miss them deeply but may try to push these feelings aside in order to maintain their detachment. Sometimes, the runners may convince themselves that this is the best course of action to shield themselves from potential pain. Ironically, running away only increases and prolongs the pain as you are resisting your own spiritual growth and the potential for a fulfilling relationship with your twin flame.
For runners who recognize the twin flame connection and the potential for growth, they may feel a sense of regret for running. They may feel undeserving of this unconditional love. This could stem from past traumas or self-doubt. It is important for runners to address these underlying issues and work on healing themselves in order to fully embrace the twin flame journey.
The twin flame runner and chaser dynamic is a challenging aspect of the twin flame journey. It can be confusing, painful, and frustrating for both parties involved. However, it is important to remember that this dynamic is temporary and serves a purpose in the growth and development of both individuals.
Whether you are the runner or the chaser in a twin flame relationship, prioritizing personal growth and healing is crucial. Discover the transformative insights in my book, Reconnect to Love, and unlock your resistance to unconditional love.