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The INFJ and INFP personalities have a unique balance of similarities and differences, which make their relationship dynamic and fulfilling.
Both personality types are classified as “Idealists”. Commonly referred to as intuitive feelers or NF types, they are characterized by their profound empathy, imaginative creativity, and relentless quest for authenticity.
Despite their common ground, INFJs and INFPs have unique ways of processing information and managing emotions. This can sometimes lead to challenges in their relationship.
For those in an INFJ-INFP relationship or are considering entering one, this guide will provide valuable insights and tips to help you understand and navigate the dynamics of this unique personality match. But first, let’s delve into the compatibility of INFJ and INFP.
Are INFJ and INFP compatible?
At first glance, INFJ and INFP are highly compatible. They have the same preferences for introversion (I), intuition (N), and feelings (F). This makes it very easy to get along with each other.
But if we look deeper at the cognitive functions of these two personality types, we will find that they are quite different. INFJs primarily use introverted intuition (Ni) and extraverted feeling (Fe), while INFPs primarily use introverted feeling (Fi) and extraverted intuition (Ne). None of their first four functions are the same. This can either lead to an interesting partnership or misunderstandings and conflicts.
However, this is usually a small issue since both personality types are empathetic. As long as INFJs and INFPs communicate openly and are willing to accept their differences, they can overcome this potential obstacle.
Explore the key differences between INFJ and INFP personalities by reading this article.
In the INFJ-INFP partnership, communication flows effortlessly and naturally. INFJs, with their dominant introverted intuition (Ni), bring a profound depth to discussions. Conversely, INFPs, utilizing their auxiliary function, extraverted intuition (Ne), add a broad perspective to conversations. This unique combination results in a communication style that is both deep and expansive, setting it apart from other pairings. Furthermore, they get each other’s humor and often share a similar sense of wit, making their interactions enjoyable and lighthearted.
As a result, INFJ and INFP personalities enjoy talking with each other and can easily spend hours discussing their thoughts, feelings, and ideas. This is great for both personality types as they dislike superficiality and small talk.
When I poll my INFJ readers to select the three MBTI personality types they feel most compatible with, INFP has the most votes.
Potential Challenges in INFJ-INFP Relationships
Despite the natural affinity between INFJ and INFP personalities, their partnership is not without challenges.
Extraverted feeling (Fe) vs Introverted Feeling (Fi) Clash
One potential issue arises from their respective decision-making processes. INFJs, guided by their extraverted feeling (Fe), prioritize the harmony and well-being of others in their decisions. INFPs, on the other hand, lean on introverted feeling (Fi) to make choices that align with their personal values, regardless of external consensus. This divergence can lead to conflict if not navigated with understanding and empathy.
For example, an INFP with a strong sense of Fi (Introverted Feeling) will prioritize what they believe is right. They might oppose injustice, cruelty, or the consumption of animals. For INFPs, moral judgments tend to be black and white.
In contrast, INFJs, guided by Fe (Extraverted Feeling), may try to understand the perspectives of various groups and find a middle ground that satisfies everyone. To an INFP, an INFJ’s willingness to compromise might seem like a betrayal of personal values or a lack of authenticity. Conversely, INFJs might feel that INFPs are unfairly judging them against values they don’t hold.
This misunderstanding may have originated from their initial meeting. Since INFPs have a strong internal value (Fi), while INFJs don’t, INFJs will tend to go along with the INFP’s wishes. Due to their Fe (extraverted feeling), it is easy for the INFJ to accommodate the INFP. This can make the INFP feel deeply cherished at the beginning. It appears to be a perfect match! However, as the INFJ begins to understand their needs and assert boundaries, the INFP may be surprised, perceiving the INFJ as having changed or not as loving as before.
Introverted Intuition (Ni) vs Extraverted Intuition (Ne) Clash
Another possible disagreement arises from the clash between an INFJ’s Introverted Intuition (Ni) and an INFP’s Extraverted Intuition (Ne). Although both personality types can exhibit childlike traits due to their imaginative nature, INFJs often carry a hint of seriousness. They may offer unsolicited advice to INFPs, trying to help them grow.
INFPs, on the other hand, prefer to freely explore ideas without committing to any, seeking inspiration rather than conclusions. They might simply wish to discuss their issues without necessarily seeking solutions. This fundamental difference can lead to misunderstandings in communication, with INFJs feeling like they are not being listened to and INFPs feeling suffocated by the INFJ’s attempts at guidance.
Also, with their dominant introverted intuition (Ni), INFJs tend to focus on one idea or goal at a time. They may even create elaborate plans to achieve their goals. INFPs, with auxiliary extraverted intuition (Ne), thrive on exploring multiple possibilities and ideas at once, often jumping between them. This can cause tension in decision-making processes, with one partner feeling pressured to make a quick choice while the other wants to continue pondering all options.
INFJ and INFP Romantic Relationship Compatibility
In romance, INFJs and INFPs are likely to be soulmates as they complement each other well. They both value deep connections and emotional intimacy, making it easier for them to understand and support each other’s needs.
The INFJ’s strong intuition can help the INFP feel understood and accepted, while the INFP’s empathy can provide a safe space for the INFJ to express themselves. Their shared values of authenticity, empathy, and compassion can create a strong foundation for a meaningful and fulfilling relationship.
However, like any other relationship, INFJ-INFP partnerships are not without their challenges. Both types can struggle with conflicts and may avoid confrontation, leading to unresolved issues. Also, both INFJs and INFPs are highly sensitive individuals. They can easily feel hurt or misunderstood, which can lead to emotional distance and misunderstandings if not addressed.
When it comes to marriage and living together, INFJs tend to be more organized and structured, while INFPs lean towards a more laid-back and impromptu lifestyle. This divergence in living styles can sometimes result in domestic disagreements. For instance, INFJs often favor a tidy and orderly environment, while INFPs might leave items around to be dealt with later. They will need to find a middle ground that works for both of them.
Sometimes, INFJs can be quite a perfectionist too, while INFPs can procrastinate and struggle with decision-making. These differences can cause tension in the relationship if not addressed openly and respectfully.
INFJ and INFP Friendship Compatibility
In the realm of friendship, INFJs and INFPs often find themselves in harmonious and profound companionship, sharing a bond that goes beyond the surface. There is a genuine understanding of each other and mutual respect.
This compatibility stems from their shared intuition and feeling preferences, fostering a connection where both feel seen and heard in ways they might not with other types. They often engage in deep conversations about life, the future, and even whimsical ideas that others might not understand.
For instance, as an INFJ personality type, I frequently engage in humorous conversations with my INFP brother. Our interactions, which can include imagining alternative scenarios to real events or crafting far-fetched yet hilarious stories, might seem nonsensical to outsiders. But the humor and creativity we share are crucial in maintaining our strong friendship. We get each other’s quirks and appreciate it.
INFJs and INFPs also support each other in their emotional well-being. INFJs can provide a calming presence for the highly sensitive and sometimes anxious INFPs, while INFPs can offer empathy and understanding to the often reserved and guarded INFJs. This deep level of emotional connection contributes to the longevity of their friendship.
However, the contrasting personalities of INFJs and INFPs often create a dynamic that can lead to frustration, particularly in how they approach goals and planning. INFJs, known for their structured and goal-oriented nature, meticulously plan and execute their strategies to achieve their objectives. On the other hand, INFPs, who embody a spontaneous and free-spirited approach, prefer to brainstorm and dream about future possibilities without necessarily taking concrete steps toward them.
This difference can be a source of tension, particularly when INFJs dedicate hours to assist and guide INFPs in realizing their dreams. INFJs may find themselves irritated by the INFPs’ apparent lack of action.
5 Tips for Nurturing a Healthy INFJ-INFP Relationship
1. Find Ways to Work Together
Due to their different cognitive functions, INFJs and INFPs may approach projects or tasks differently. Rather than seeing this as a source of frustration, try to embrace each other’s strengths and find ways to work together.
INFJs can offer their planning and organizing skills while INFPs can bring their creativity and ideas to the table. This collaboration can lead to great results and strengthen your bond.
For instance, in our decision-making process, my INFP brother and I have devised a system that suits us both. He generates ideas and presents me with three choices, from which I select the most suitable one. This approach allows me, as an INFJ, to avoid feeling swamped by the myriad of possibilities that an INFP tends to offer, while simultaneously relieving the indecisive INFP of the burden of making the final decision.
2. Communicate Openly
As introverts, INFJs and INFPs tend to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves. Both of them are also sensitive to judgment or criticism and conflict avoidance. However, to maintain a healthy relationship, both parties must be willing to communicate openly and honestly.
Instead of constantly accommodating the clearly defined values of INFPs, INFJs must also take time to identify and articulate their own needs and values. Neglecting to do so may foster resentment over time. It is important to remember that your needs are just as valid as those of your INFP partner. Don’t just go along with their ideas because it is easy. Express your thoughts and emotions, even if it means asking for some time to understand your own desires.
Conversely, INFPs might experience intense emotions or feel hurt but struggle to express these feelings. While INFJs are good at interpreting non-verbal cues, their perception is not infallible, and may tend to overthink. Therefore, INFPs must be willing to express their feelings and communicate any issues that may arise in the relationship. This fosters a deeper understanding between both parties and helps prevent misunderstandings.
3. Embrace Differences
Another key aspect of a successful relationship between an INFJ and an INFP is the ability to embrace each other’s differences. While INFJs and INFPs may have similar values, their approaches and perspectives can be vastly different at times. This is because INFJs use introverted intuition (Ni) as their dominant function, while INFPs use introverted feeling (Fi).
Instead of trying to change each other or constantly arguing over whose approach is better, both parties need to understand and respect each other’s perspectives.
For example, INFJs could benefit from relaxing a bit and not taking everything so seriously. INFPs often indulge in dreaming purely for the pleasure of it, without any real intention of turning those dreams into reality. It is important to recognize that not every idea needs to evolve into a project, and not every problem demands a solution. INFJs can learn from INFPs to embrace spontaneity and a more carefree approach to life.
Conversely, INFPs must realize that not everyone holds the same values as they do. INFJs are frequently guided by considerations of others’ welfare and may make choices they believe will benefit the collective, sometimes at the expense of their own principles. However, this isn’t necessarily negative. It reflects their capacity for empathy and understanding towards others.
4. Take Initiatives
As introverts, both INFJs and INFPs may be inclined to wait for the other person to take the first step. However, this can lead to a stalemate in their relationship where both parties are waiting for the other to make a move.
To prevent this from happening, both INFJs and INFPs must learn to take initiative in their relationship. This could mean planning dates, initiating deep conversations, or simply showing appreciation for one another. Taking these small steps can help to strengthen the bond between INFJs and INFPs and bring balance to their relationship dynamic.
It is also crucial not to misinterpret a lack of initiative as an absence of affection. Both personality types often require time to process their thoughts and feelings before acting. INFJs may overthink and worry about making the perfect decision, while INFPs may struggle with indecisiveness. Therefore, as mentioned previously, practicing open and honest communication will help you better understand each other’s needs and intentions.
5. Learn From Each Other and Grow
Engaging in a relationship with someone who possesses different cognitive functions can be an enriching experience, offering opportunities for learning and growth.
For example, INFJs can gain insights from INFPs on how to connect more deeply with their emotions and adopt a more adaptable approach to life. Conversely, INFPs can learn from INFJs the value of considering others’ perspectives and making choices that are beneficial for the collective.
By understanding each other’s strengths and weaknesses, INFJs and INFPs can support one another’s personal growth and become better versions of themselves. This will not only benefit their relationship but also enrich their individual lives.
Final Thoughts
Despite their differences, INFJs and INFPs have a unique connection that can bring depth, understanding, and growth to their relationship. By acknowledging and respecting each other’s cognitive functions, taking initiative, and learning from one another, INFJs and INFPs can build a strong and fulfilling partnership.
