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INFJs and ENFJs are similar in many ways, making them a potentially compatible pairing in romantic relationships. Both types are known for their warmth, empathy, and desire to help others. They also share an intuitive and idealistic outlook on life.

However, there are also some key differences between INFJs and ENFJs that can lead to challenges in their relationship. In this guide, we will explore these similarities and differences and provide insights and tips for building a strong and fulfilling INFJ-ENFJ relationship. But first, let’s delve into the compatibility of INFJs and ENFJs and what makes these connections so special.

Is INFJ compatible with ENFJ?

INFJs and ENFJs get along easily, and their relationship tends to be harmonious. They both have deeply empathetic personalities and a strong sense of intuition, which helps them understand each other’s thoughts and emotions. This level of understanding leads to a natural flow of communication and fosters an authentic emotional connection between the two types.

INFJs and ENFJs also share similar values and interests. Both are passionate about helping others, making a positive impact in the world, and seeking meaning in their lives. This shared sense of purpose can bring a deep sense of fulfillment to their relationship.

Their compatibility stems from sharing the same cognitive functions: Introverted Intuition (Ni), Extraverted Feeling (Fe), Introverted Thinking (Ti), and Extraverted Sensing (Se). However, the dominant function for INFJs is Introverted Intuition (Ni), while for ENFJs it is Extraverted Feeling (Fe). This means that while both types share similar values, INFJs tend to be more introspective and reflective, whereas ENFJs are more focused on external harmony and social interaction.

The difference in terms of their dominant functions can sometimes lead to clashes in the relationship. INFJs may find ENFJs too extroverted and overwhelming, while ENFJs may feel that INFJs are too reserved and distant. These differences can also manifest in decision-making processes, with INFJs relying on their inner intuition and ENFJs seeking external validation and opinions.

Learn more about the differences in cognitive functions between INFJ and ENFJ personalities here.

Potential Challenges in INFJ-ENFJ Relationships

One of the biggest relationship struggles between the two is their difference in terms of energy level and social preferences. INFJs tend to be more introverted and need a lot of time alone to recharge, while ENFJs thrive on social interaction and gain energy from being around people.

This difference in energy levels can also lead to misunderstandings between the two types. INFJs may feel that ENFJs are being overly outgoing or demanding of their attention, while ENFJs may interpret INFJs’ need for alone time as rejection or disinterest. ENFJs have a large social circle and this can make INFJs feel left out or isolated at times. INFJs don’t seek social interactions as much as ENFJs do. Instead, they desire deep, meaningful connections with their partner and a few others.

ENFJs often underestimate the amount of alone time that INFJs need. INFJs seldom reach out to people or initiate social interactions, and this can make ENFJs feel like they are not appreciated or valued in the relationship. However, if ENFJs constantly persuade or expect INFJs to join in their social activities, it can lead to resentment and frustration for the INFJs.

According to my survey, INFJs generally feel more compatible with fellow introverts than extroverts.

Another potential challenge is the difference in decision-making processes. INFJs tend to rely on their intuition and inner guidance, while ENFJs prefer to gather opinions and input from others before making a decision. This can create tension in the relationship if one type feels that the other is not valuing their perspective or not listening to their input.

INFJs may view ENFJs as insincere and overly image-conscious, as they tend to care too much about others’ opinions. Additionally, ENFJs might seem a bit too materialistic for INFJs. Driven by their extroverted functions, Extraverted Feeling (Fe), and Extraverted Sensing (Se), ENFJs focus more on the external world and may prioritize tangible things over abstract concepts.

On the other hand, as introverts, INFJs tend to rely on their introverted functions, Introverted Intuition (Ni) and Introverted Thinking (Ti). This can lead them to ignore their second function, Extraverted Feeling (Fe), resulting in a Ni-Ti loop. This dynamic can lead the optimistic ENFJs to perceive them as overly negative or prone to overthinking. ENFJs might also find INFJs too idealistic and impractical. While ENFJs share a sense of idealism, they are more action-oriented and focused on turning their dreams into reality.

INFJ and ENFJ Romantic Relationship Compatibility

INFJs are attracted to ENFJs’ charisma, warmth, and energetic personality. On the other hand, ENFJs appreciate INFJs’ depth of insight, thoughtfulness, and empathetic nature. When they first meet, they will have an immediate connection like soulmates, feeling like they have known each other for a long time. They can easily talk about their beliefs and experiences with one another, without fear of judgment. This creates a strong emotional bond between the two types.

Despite their compatibility, INFJs and ENFJs may face some challenges in their romantic relationship. One potential issue is communication styles. As introverts, INFJs tend to process their thoughts internally before sharing them with others. They need time alone to reflect and make sense of their thoughts and emotions. ENFJs, on the other hand, prefer to process their thoughts externally by discussing them with others. This can lead to misunderstandings if ENFJs expect more immediate verbalized responses from their partners. INFJ may feel overwhelmed by the ENFJ’s constant need for communication and the ENFJ may feel that the INFJ is not being open enough.

Furthermore, both types are intuitive and find it easy to understand each other’s thoughts and emotions. But if both types don’t communicate enough and just assume that the other person knows what they are thinking or feeling, it can lead to misinterpretations and misunderstandings.

With Extraverted Feeling (Fe) as their top two function, INFJs and ENFJs value harmony and seldom get into fights or arguments. They will go out of their way to avoid conflict and maintain peace in their relationships. However, this can also lead to a lack of open communication and addressing underlying issues. Both types may feel uncomfortable expressing their needs or concerns, causing problems to build up over time.

INFJ and ENFJ Friendship Compatibility

INFJ and ENFJ friends share the same sense of humor, which is often described as witty and clever. They both enjoy deep conversations and can easily connect on an intellectual level. This makes them great friends who can support and understand each other’s perspectives.

Both INFJs and ENFJs are interested in personal growth and often seek out self-improvement activities or discussions. As friends, they can motivate and inspire each other to reach their full potential. Their intuitive nature also allows them to have a strong understanding of each other’s thoughts and emotions without having to explicitly state them. This creates a sense of comfort and trust in the friendship.

However, there may be challenges when it comes to making plans or decisions together. INFJs tend to prefer more solitary activities while ENFJs thrive in social situations. INFJs often withdraw to spend time alone and are passive in initiating social plans. This can make ENFJs feel like they are doing all the work in the friendship. INFJs may also turn down social invitations from ENFJs, which can cause a strain on the friendship.

Additionally, ENFJs tend to be chatty in social settings and have a greater need to please and be liked, which the INFJs may perceive as superficial or insincere. INFJs are careful and selective when picking friends, and may struggle with this aspect of the ENFJ’s personality. They may feel unable to cultivate a close friendship with the ENFJ.

But on the flip side, ENFJ friends can help INFJs come out of their shells and be more socially active. They can help INFJs expand their social circle and introduce them to new experiences. They can also support INFJs in making decisions and taking action, something that INFJs may struggle with due to their perfectionistic tendencies.

INFJ friends can help ENFJs become more introspective and reflective. They can encourage them to slow down and take time for self-care and personal growth. INFJs can also provide a deeper understanding of themselves and the world, which can help ENFJs in their quest to make a positive impact on others.

5 Tips for Nurturing a Healthy INFJ-ENFJ Relationship

1. Practice Open Communication

Even though INFJ and ENFJ seem to understand each other well, open and effective communication is still key in any relationship. Instead of assuming the other person knows how you feel or what you need, take the time to express your thoughts and emotions clearly. This will help avoid misunderstandings and build a stronger foundation for your friendship.

Additionally, address any conflicts or issues that may arise in a calm and respectful manner. INFJs and ENFJs both value harmony and may avoid confrontation, but it is important to work through any conflicts to maintain a healthy relationship. As both types have people-pleasing tendencies, it may be painful to hear criticism.

However, it is also important to remember that constructive feedback can help both individuals grow and improve in the relationship. It not only helps each other gain a deeper understanding of their partner’s needs and desires, but it also helps them get better at receiving feedback.

Read this article to stop being a people-pleaser.

2. Balance Social and Alone Time

Striking a balance between social activities and alone time is crucial in an INFJ-ENFJ relationship. INFJs are more introverted and prefer spending time alone to recharge, while ENFJs are more extroverted and thrive on social interactions.

ENFJs may also need to break away from social interaction at times, especially if they feel drained or overwhelmed by social obligations. However, INFJs need much more alone time than they do. INFJs withdraw not just when they feel drained but also when they need space to process their thoughts and emotions or do things on their own. For them, this retreat is more a preference than a necessity. It has nothing to do with whether they like spending time with their partner or not. It is important for ENFJs not to take this personally and to give their INFJ partner the space they need without feeling rejected.

Likewise, INFJs can communicate their need for alone time to their ENFJ partner and assure them that it has nothing to do with their relationship. INFJs also need to learn to turn down social invitations from their partner when they don’t feel like going. Otherwise, this may lead to resentment and strain in the relationship. Additionally, ENFJs seek external validation and gain energy from interacting with others. When ENFJs are out socializing, INFJs must avoid feeling jealous or neglected.

To accommodate both needs, couples can plan a mix of activities that include social gatherings and quiet, intimate moments together. But it is also essential for each partner to independently pursue their own interests. INFJs can engage in solo activities, while ENFJs can attend social events without their INFJ partner.

3. Appreciate Each Other’s Strengths

One of the most enriching aspects of an INFJ-ENFJ relationship is the potential for each partner to benefit from the other’s strengths. ENFJs are naturally charismatic, drawing people in with their warmth and enthusiasm. This extroverted quality can help INFJs step out of their comfort zones and engage more with the world around them. They can encourage INFJs to take part in social activities that they might otherwise avoid, broadening their experiences and enriching their lives.

On the other hand, INFJs possess a profound depth of insight and empathy, often understanding the unspoken emotions of those around them. This can provide ENFJs with a deeper sense of emotional awareness and enhance their ability to connect on a more intimate level. INFJs can teach ENFJs the value of introspection and the importance of creating space for deep, meaningful connections.

However, this can only happen if both partners recognize and appreciate each other’s strengths instead of judging them. For example, ENFJs may criticize INFJs for being too introverted and overthinking, while INFJs may see ENFJs as shallow or overly image-conscious. Instead, both partners can view each other’s qualities as complementary and help each other grow and develop. This mutual appreciation can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilling relationship.

4. Be Patient With Each Other

Unlike ENFJs, INFJs need time alone to figure out their thoughts and emotions. When communicating with INFJs, it is important to let them have their space and not pressure them to open up before they are ready. Otherwise, you will either encounter silence or receive an incomplete response from an INFJ. This can lead to misunderstandings later on, as INFJs may not have had the opportunity to fully process and express their thoughts.

Additionally, ENFJs must recognize that INFJs may require more time to take action. Known for their cautious and reflective nature, INFJs often need extra time to make decisions. Don’t mistake their lack of action for a lack of interest. Rather than rushing them to decide quickly or feeling rejected, ENFJs can support INFJs by offering them reassurance and understanding. This understanding and patience can foster a stronger bond between the two types.

On the other hand, ENFJs often make decisions based on others’ opinions and emotions. This may cause conflict with INFJs, who value authenticity and careful consideration. INFJs must understand that ENFJs have a stronger preference for Extraverted Feeling (Fe) than them, which may make them more focused on external validation. ENFJs will sometimes sacrifice their own needs and values to maintain harmony in relationships.

Rather than becoming frustrated, INFJs can guide them in setting healthier boundaries and staying true to themselves through introspection. INFJs can also remind and encourage ENFJs to make time for themselves.

5. Maintain Individuality

Both ENFJs and INFJs value meaningful connections and are driven to create harmony in their relationships. However, this can also lead to a tendency to put their partners’ needs before their own. It is important for both partners to prioritize self-care and make sure that their own needs are being met as well. This can prevent resentment from building up and keep the relationship healthy and balanced.

In addition, both INFJs and ENFJs tend to merge with their partners regardless of who their partners are. This can lead to losing their own sense of self and individuality within the relationship. It can also lead to codependency and an unhealthy reliance on the other person for validation and identity. Therefore, it is vital for both types to maintain their own interests, hobbies, and passions outside of the relationship.

By nurturing their individuality, ENFJs and INFJs can bring more depth and richness to their relationships. They can also support each other in pursuing their passions and growth as individuals. This will ultimately strengthen the bond between these two empathetic and caring personality types.

Maintaining individuality also means respecting each other’s differences and not trying to change or mold the other person into an ideal vision of a partner. Both INFJs and ENFJs are idealistic, especially in relationships. But they may have different ways of approaching things, so it is important to embrace those differences instead of expecting one another to conform.

Final Thoughts

In summary, relationships between INFJs and ENFJs have the potential to be deeply fulfilling and supportive, given their shared values of empathy and harmony.

However, it is crucial for both partners to strike a balance between connection and individuality, ensuring that their growth as individuals does not get overshadowed by the relationship.